31 Days of Breastfeeding Journeys | Day 24 | World Breastfeeding Week 2016
"My breastfeeding journey didn’t start five years ago when my first son was born. It started long before that when I found out I was pregnant. I became obsessed with learning and researching all about breastfeeding. I was determined to breastfeed my first born son. And I did, but not how you would think. I exclusively pumped. For six months I was attached to a breast pump every day multiple times a day...at home, at work, at the mall, in my car, at friends and family's houses, you name it. I read all the books and tried all the techniques but we had latching issues from the beginning.
Within an hour after my son Noah was born I nursed him. During our hospital stay we nursed on demand but something always felt off. My second night in the hospital I spent awake staring at my sleeping baby and crying because of the pain and difficulty we were experiencing. It's not that I was naive. I knew breastfeeding would be difficult in the beginning, but I wasn't prepared for this. By the time we arrived home Noah was two days old and still had never drank from a bottle nor sucked on a pacifier. We even fed Noah my breastmilk from a syringe a few times those first few days. We continued to nurse on demand but the latching problems continued. I was at my wits end. My nipples were practically destroyed, my confidence in breastfeeding Noah was nearly nonexistent, and I was visibly engorged. I was in excruciating pain but then a miracle happened.
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A home health nurse visited us. I will be forever grateful to this nurse because she noticed I was engorged and suggested I use a breast pump. She may have even told me how she exclusively pumped for her children. At the time I probably didn’t even realize that was an option. I did so much research about breastfeeding that I was determined to do it naturally and I didn’t even think about pumping. That very day my husband left and came back with a breast pump and gel pads. Finally I had some relief. It wasn't long after that when I decided to stop nursing Noah. I sobbed uncontrollably and cried myself to sleep that night. I wanted so badly to experience the breastfeeding bond with my son. My husband reminded me that I was still achieving the ultimate purpose of giving Noah my nutritious breastmilk and thats what mattered most. At that moment I embraced pumping.
It took months to really master it. When exclusively pumping you have to find the correct flange size (which can be painful along the way if you make mistakes!). You have to understand timing and frequency (“magic number”), supply and demand, power pumping as well as other methods when battling supply issues. You have to know how to identify mastitis (I had it once, the 102 degree fever was the red flag!) and clogged ducts and how to treat them. You have to plan for emergencies; you should invest in a spare manual pump for long shopping trips or summer night thunderstorms when your electricity goes out (yea, I learned that the hard way!). Just like formula feeding moms you have to wash a million bottles. And on top of that there's all the other accessories you'll need: handsfree pumping bras, nipple creams (all purpose breast compound is great stuff!), reusable or disposable nipple pads, spare pumping parts, breast milk storage bags, etc. If you're successful like me, you'll reach the point where you will have to label every storage bag with a date, "freeze flat" and consolidate single bags into bigger bags labeled by week or month all while using a first-in first-out inventory method so the oldest milk is fed to your baby first. Refrigerate, freeze, thaw, feed, repeat! It is a lot of work but when you look in your freezer and see it packed full of frozen breast milk for your baby and you no longer have to supplement with formula it’s empowering.
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My goal was to give Noah my breast milk up until he was six months old and I met that goal! I stopped pumping around that time and fed him the remaining breast milk I had stashed in the freezer. My story didn't end there though. Noah's younger brother, Nolan, was born 20 months ago and is still nursing to this day.
Nolan was born five weeks early so we didn't get to nurse or have immediate skin to skin bonding. He spent two weeks in the Special Care Nursery hooked up to monitors, bili lights and feeding tubes. Despite the circumstances I was determined to nurse him. The "baby friendly" (i.e., breastfeeding friendly) hospital staff was very supportive. We collaborated on a breastfeeding schedule. I would nurse Nolan in the morning and afternoon while the nursing staff fed him my pumped milk through a simulated breastfeeding (finger/syringe) and/or feeding tube after I went home each day. Since I had a devastating experience with my first son I was willing to try whatever it took to be successful this time. I was open to things I didn't try with my first son, particularly a nipple shield. A lactation consultant suggested it since Nolan was a preemie with a weaker latch. Having remembered the pain that comes with the first few weeks of breastfeeding I was totally on board! Nolan and I used a nipple shield for two weeks until one night we just stopped. I remember trying to nurse him in the middle of the night and fumbling with it and him unlatching and milk spilling everywhere. In frustration I threw it across the room and we never looked back. Sometimes the books aren't always right (there is a lot of controversy regarding nipple shields); I truly believe if I would have used one with Noah we would have been able to nurse. Even “nipple confusion” wasn't a concern. Nolan had a binky in the hospital and it never interfered with nursing. It's ironic how I did everything "by the book" with Noah and we couldn't nurse and I did the opposite with Nolan and here we are approaching his second birthday still nursing every day.
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Its been an amazing and entirely different experience with Nolan. This time I've had to deal with overactive letdown, shallow latch, clogged ducts, bottle battles (he refused to take bottles when I wasn't home to nurse him), overcoming fear of NIP (nursing in public), cluster feedings and comfort nursing. Instead of power pumping to build a supply I've had to wean off pumps and regulate an over supply. I've been able to experience the joy that comes from donating over 200 ounces to local moms through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. I've been able to experience what it’s like to nurse a toddler and all the whacks, punches, pinches, kicks, bites, and bruises that sometimes go along with that (haha). But I’ve also been able to experience the extra cuddles, smiles, and affectionate stares as well. I’ll never forget the pure joy that comes from settling into a bed of pillows after a long day and nursing my baby boy to sleep every night. Or how my heart melts every time he crawls up onto my lap and looks into my eyes and signs "milk". Through it all I feel so blessed to be able to have this bond with my son." ~Julie
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